Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Born Again

I'm taking a detour to share about a recent change in my life.

If you could let me ramble here, I wanted to share my experience being recently Born Again!

I'm from Ohio, we went to a Methodist church back home. Being "born again" wasn't really talked about a lot, I never knew much about it except the story of Nicodemus

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=John+3&version=NIV

and that I was a believer in Christ. As a girl, I knew I wanted Jesus to "be in my heart" as my parents taught me. But it wasn't until I made my own decision as a young adult to follow Him.

Well, I've experienced something new, 15+ years after choosing a relationship with God. It's been weeks since it happened, I wanted to be sure it wasn't just an event that came and went, like so many Sunday mornings. In my life, I've known the Holy Spirit, felt Him move in my soul many times. I have talked with God and felt His answer in my heart, what a blessing! I've been in a group of 100+ people and felt the burden of their despair all at once, it is too much. That's another story, but I believe it was God moving. I had seen a glimpse of Heaven once and it was almost too much to bear, just that glimpse!

But a few weeks ago, we had a speaker at our church. And this isn't about him at all, it's just that he's the one who God used to change me. I've never understood why I had so much pain and agony in my heart from abuse suffered as a child. Why I couldn't find joy even though I desperately longed for it. WHY I couldn't just find peace in my kids and husband instead of being angry & bitter for no reason! I prayed, I cried out, I turned my heart cold to God many times when He wouldn't answer me. I tried everything and surrendered to a life of misery, that's just who I am, I thought.

But God spoke to me one morning through this kid (I say kid, he's in his 20's) and God filled me for a moment and I was completely frozen. I couldn't do anything or think anything except GOD. That was the moment, I don't remember anything else much from that day!

Since then, I have found joy even when dealing with tragedies around me. I feel bad, being joyful. But I know God has given me this gift of joy! I have found it essential to my soul to take care of people who have noone, nothing, give what I have away. I've donated toys, coats and bedding to others in the last few weeks. We have less now than we did, but then, we are rich compared to so many others! I don't have money to give, but we have so much excess stuff it's shameful.

This song, Born Again by Third Day, says it all. I know it's on the radio all the time, and they're a popular Christian band. But the truth and description of being "born again" is all new to me, and I'm there. It is so amazing. Please watch

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WHnIJWUGQ-4&feature=related

Thanks for letting me share

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